Bewitched is the light

16 Dec

When you don’t know what to do, get still. Get still. Until you do know because nobody knows but you. Nobody knows for you. Only you know the path to your own truth. You always know the answer when you are willing to hear your own truth. – Oprah Winfrey

Some time ago I read a piece on Momastery titled The Erasing. She writes of how, on the other side of a depressive episode, there is light and wonder and magic, almost like you’ve never experienced before. It is a re-learning of everything gained prior to the episode because the blob sucks out of you the ability to feel anything except steep melancholy. She makes an excellent point.

What she also mentioned in that same post is how she writes letters from her up self to her down self. And notes from her down self to her up self. I’ve been doing a lot of that. I wrote some of it here, but there has been so much more scribbling and scrawling in my journal that most of it is illegible. It felt so good to put the energy to paper. I’ve started seeing my shrink lady again so those notes from my down self will help tremendously in discovering those darker parts of me that try to dismantle my sanity.

In the meantime, as I walk further from the blob, I have been writing a lot of notes to myself so when I get to that dark place again I can remind myself who I am. Because I will be there again. It might not be tomorrow or next month or even next year, but I will be there again. And it is important that I remember my Self when I get there. I have saved and printed messages from friends. I created a Fiercely Me corner in my living room. I have taped the below poems in my journal. I have written notes on my white board. The wallpaper on my computer is a mixture of messages to my Selves.

Ego Tripping by Nikki Giovanni Still I Rise by Maya Angelou Say I Am You by Jelaluddin Rumi Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

And now I have started a list of I AM which I highly recommend every single one of you do. There will be moments when you will need to know these things about yourself. None of us is immune to self doubt.

Right now, yes right now, start yours. Write it down. Put it somewhere that will surprise you later. Here’s mine:


I AM truth.
I AM honesty.
I AM authenticity.
I AM compassion.
I AM love.
I AM tenacious.
I AM survivor.
I AM strength.
I AM grounded.
I AM intuitive.
I AM empathic.
I AM determined.
I AM change.
I AM joy.
I AM gratitude.
I AM thankful.
I AM stubborn.
I AM courage.
I AM happy.
I AM goodness.
I AM woman.
I AM fierce.
I AM sister.
I AM witty.
I AM funny.
I AM sarcasm.
I AM intelligent.
I AM emotion.
I AM quirky.
I AM creative.
I AM flexible.
I AM observant.
I AM kindness.
I AM smart.
I AM feeling.
I AM wonder.
I AM hardheaded.
I AM woman.
I AM fight.
I AM badass.
I AM nature.
I AM ultrarunner.
I AM indelible.
I AM unending.
I AM adventurous.
I AM wanderer.
I AM free.
I AM spirit.
I AM confidence.
I AM power.
I AM indubitable.

1 Comment

Posted by on December 16, 2015 in depression


Tags: , ,

One response to “Bewitched is the light

  1. Mark

    December 16, 2015 at 5:11 pm

    Love it!


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